Monday, November 17, 2008

Essay #2 Rough Draft 2

My life is being controlled everyday by people that I’ve never even met. I used to have rights. I used to have freedom. I don’t have any of that anymore. American colonists are being taken control of by England. Although most of the royal government has never been to any of the colonies, they act like they know everything that is going on in North Carolina when they don’t. They don’t know the struggles that we have day after day, then they decide to add even more problems to the ones we already have. They decide to take our money and use it for themselves and take all of our rights away from us. What gives Parliament the right to take away everything that we have built up for ourselves? They have no right at all. We need to stop them before they destroy us. England’s actions have forced my fellow patriots and I here in the North Carolina colony to work against them.

Parliament decided to place the British Army here in North Carolina to keep the peace and to protect us. They were placed here without our consent or knowledge that they would be stationed here. There are no problems here that haven’t always been there. The British Army’s presence is doing more harm then good because they aren’t protecting us from anything. Some colonists are even being forced to house the soldiers and provide them with food. Their presence here is simply so that they can see what kinds of anti-England, or patriot, activity is going on so that they can report back to the King of England and tell him how high our resentment is. The army has killed so many of us when we were trying to protect ourselves from attacks against them. “George Washington said, ‘to be prepared for war is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace’” (Preparing for a Generation of Peace). We know that their presence here is only the first step, something bigger and more deadly is coming. We need to ready ourselves now so that we will be ready for war when the time comes. North Carolina representatives have constantly wrote to the King and to Parliament asking them to change all of this. We have sent them multiple petitions saying what needs to change in the colony. The King has never, nor I think will ever, listen to us. Our petitions to him have all gone unanswered.

The North Carolina colony, along with all the other colonies, has repeatedly sent petitions to the King of England asking him to change what is happening in all the colonies. All of our petitions have been ignored by him and by Parliament. “In every stage of these oppressions we have petitioned for redress in the most humble terms; our repeated petitions have been unanswered only by repeated injury. A prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people” (Declaration of Independence). We are sick and tired of being. We tried to be patient. We tried to be kind and grateful. We did everything we could to persuade the King in the humblest way possible and nothing changed for us. Nothing changed for the good of our colony, for any of the colonies. Parliament has always treated the colonies more harshly than their British subjects living in England. They have imposed laws and taxes on us that don’t apply to citizens living in England, which isn’t right or fair.

British Parliament is creating unfair laws and taxes for the colonies. Parliament is constantly creating more laws that restrict was we can and cannot do. They are taxing us for the silliest things such as tea stamps. Parliament is even charging us for products that are coming to us from other countries. One tax they created is the Sugar Act of 1764. This raised taxes on all goods being imported to the colony such as molasses and sugar. Not only did Parliament raise taxes, they created new taxes for us. The Stamp Act was created by Parliament in 1765. This act placed a tax on all British paper goods coming into North Carolina. All the taxes we are paying are going directly back to England to pay off their war debts. All of this has created much animosity in patriots living in the colonies. “North Carolina taxes…included dues to the Crown and taxes levied by Parliament” (The Payment of Provincial and Local Taxes in North Carolina, 1748-1771, 218). The tension between colonists and England is growing everyday. We have always believed, and will always believe, that we should not be taxed without are consent. Not only did the Parliament add taxes, they have also taken away some of our rights and laws.

England has gone power hungry over how controlling they have become of the North Carolinian colonists. Parliament is taking away our most essential rights so that they will have even more control over us. “Statues have been passed for extending the jurisdiction of courts of admiralty and vice-admiralty beyond their ancient limits” (Declaration of the Causes and Necessities of Taking Up Arms). Parliament thinks that just because we don’t live on the same land as British citizens living in England, we don’t deserve the same rights. One right that has been taken away from us is the right to trial by jury. If someone in our colony is charged with a crime, they will be sent to England to be tried. Before England made this law, the accused would be tried by a jury of their peers in their own colony not complete strangers in England. Parliament is interfering in our government process. They have put in officials that they wanted who they knew would never favor us and always go with what England would want. “The wary, uneasy equilibrium within society degenerated into violent disorder…destroyed lower-class autonomy and became too harsh, excessively vindictive, or patently unjust” (The Social Order and Violent Disorder: An Analysis of North Carolina in the Revolution and the Civil War, 375). The King has also allowed criminals to walk free without punishment because they were put in North Carolina because of him. This has put all of us in danger and destroys our right to safety and security. England doesn’t treat us like subjects; they treat us like objects that don’t deserve equality. This directly violates our right to freedom as British citizens. There is too much corruption within our government system. We are never treated fairly because everything is always favoring the British Parliament. How can we continue to serve England when we know we are nothing more than slaves for them?

It is England’s fault that so many people within the North Carolina colony have turned against them. They have done nothing that has benefited us for years. All they’ve done is create laws and taxes without our consent. They have taken away our rights and our liberties. Our growing resentment of England’s treatment of us could ultimately only have one end result: war. "The American Revolution was our first civil war, pitting neighbors against neighbors and splitting families apart" (A People's History of the American Revolution). All the colonies were split in two categories, patriot and loyalist. Loyalists are people who like England and approve of their treatment of us. These are mostly wealthy merchants and planters. Who you support, either the patriots or loyalists, sometimes comes down to where you live. The area in North Carolina that I’m living in is very patriotic, as is most of the colony. A large area of the colony, however, is neither patriot nor loyalist. Both sides are heavily contesting this neutral area. There is also a small portion of the colony that loyalist, however, the land surrounding it is strictly patriot. North Carolina will never back down against England. We know that we do not deserve this treatment and would be better off ruling ourselves. Even if we lose, the fight against England will never die down. It will continue until we get what we want. As Patrick Henry says, “give me liberty or give me death!” (Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death).


Works Cited:

1. Crow, Jeffrey J., Escott, Paul J. "The Social Order and Violent Disorder: An Analysis of North Carolina in the Revolution and the Civil War." The Journal of Southern History. Vol 52. Issue 3. August 1986. pg 375. 13 Nov 2008 < http://www.jstor.org/stable/2209568 >.

2. "Declaration of Independence, July 4, 1776." The Avalon Project Documents in Law, History and Diplomacy. Lillian Goldman Law Library. 13 Nov 2008 < http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/declare.asp >.

3. "Declaration of the Causes and Necessities of Taking Up Arms." The Avalon Project Documents in Law, History and Diplomacy. Lillian Goldman Law Library. 15 Nov 2008 < http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/arms.asp >.

4. Henry, Patrick. "Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death." Lillian Goldman Law Library March 23, 1775 15 Nov 2008 .

5. Kay, Michael, L., Marvin. "The Payment of Provincial and Local Taxes in North Carolina, 1748-1771." The William and Mary Quarterly, Third Series Vol 26. Issue 2. April 1969. pg 218. 16 Nov 2008 < http://www.jstor.org/stable/1918676 >.

6. Raphael, Ray. A People's History of the American Revolution. First Edition. New York: Harper Perennial, 2002.

7. Walter, Jr., Alonzo J. "Preparing for a Generation of Peace." December 31, 2003. 13 Nov 2008 < http://www.airpower.maxwell.af.mil/airchronicles/aureview/1972/may-jun/walter.html >.

2 comments:

Alina said...

-The way you started your essay was very bold. It definitely showed emotion, and that is what grabbed my attention. It made me feel the way a patriot would feel.

-I feel like you need better transitions between your paragraghs. I can tell you tried, and they just need to be a little smoother.

-the last paragraph talks about what a loyalist is and what they stand for. I thouhgt that was a good thought to include that, but it shounds out of place in this essay. Maybe make it sound more like a patriot then just information about the loyalists.

-Well written. You talked about your colony, and i could tell you are a patriot from North Carolina.

Michelle said...

Cons:
-In the first paragraph you wrote: "American colonists are being taken control of by England." You need to delete the "of" because it is unnecessary
-For the thesis, maybe instead of, "England’s actions have forced my fellow patriots and I here in the North Carolina colony to work against them," you can probably say "England's actions have forced my fellow patriots and I in North Carolina to work against them." This will help it stay clear, and concise.
-there seems to be a lot of unnecessary words used. I suggest using more concise words, to keep it less wordy. For example, in the second paragraph, "They were placed here without our consent or knowledge that they would be stationed here." You can shorten it down by stating, "They were placed here without our consent or knowledge."
-for your in-text parenthetical citations, instead of listing the title, you should follow the following: (Last name page number)
-in the third paragraph you have forgotten to finish the sentence: "We are sick and tired of being."
-watched usage of verb tense
-in the last paragraph, although i liked the way you ended it with a quote from Patrick Henry, Craig suggests that we should not end with quotes, so add something, or move it around
Pros:
-very detailed and thorough that gives insight and clear understanding to the situation
-your purpose is generally apparent, and I think that your tone and voice is perfect for this essay
-you demonstrated most ideas logically
-In sum, you did well throughout the assignment, but I suggest you keep it concise without all the extra words, to keep it clear and easy to follow.Also, some info. may be misplaced, so maybe work on that, other that good job.